grief thoughts on the first anniversary of caden's passing
30 Mar 2022- the time is now to start telling my family and close friends all the things i want to tell them. why wait?
- i want to set up hang dates with my nibblings asap
- it’s time to set up hang outs with all my friends and friend groups
- why is everything so dusty all of a sudden?!
- caden is my first nibbling lost. idk how i didn’t think about that as i’ve been committing myself to them but of course some of them will transition before me. oof. what a devastating thought. i can’t tell if this will impact how many nibblings i want to commit myself to but it definitely makes each commitment feel more weighty. signing on to responsibility for a nibbling means signing on to the possibility that they might die before me and then i will have to grieve them. (on the flipside, i guess by committing myself to them, if i have an impact on their lives and then i die first, they will have to grieve me… hm! what a conundrum…)
i am backdating this post for the date that i generated the thoughts but in actually i published this piece on march 4, 2023, on the tail end of a solo ceremony. i guess it took all this time to be ready to release this energy. i wonder what it’ll be like on the 2nd anniversary which is coming up.
words / writing / post-processing
152w / 11 months / 2min