open question on internalized oppression

what do you do when someone who has internalized oppression says something that is oppressive to their own group? 

last week i was talking to a friend (woman) who called her boss a bitch. now, i fully believe that gendered derogatory terms are sexist and never to be used. had my friend identified as a man, i would have had no problem calling out that behavior. however, given that this friend was a woman (member of oppressed group) and i am man (member of oppressor group), i really wasn’t sure what to do. can someone in an oppressor group address oppression in the corresponding oppressed group?

this situation has presented itself a number of times. a different friend called her boyfriend a pussy because of his low work ethic. a third friend, who identifies as half-black (but still black), told me i was unqualified for something because i was a dark-skinned nigger.

how does one intervene in those moments?