i’d like to expand the conversation on manspreading. i’d like to expand it in two ways:

first, it’s to deepen into the “why.” why do men take up so much space?

i know most people’s entry into the conversation about manspreading is through the train situation. i.e. men spreading their legs while on trains and taking up more than one seat of space or intruding into the space of the seats on either side of them. this can either intrude on the space of someone who is already sitting there or it can make it seem undesirable to sit there. this can have the effect of letting one man take up 2-3 seats.

that’s real.

but the type of train manspreading i want to bring into the discussion is when a group of guys who appear to be friends get on the train and sit with multiple seats between them. i have seen this many times. i have seen two guys sit with one, two, or three seats between them. i have seen four guys who appeared to be in high school or early college years take up an entire 1/3 of a train car. each of them had 2-3 seats to their left and 2-3 seats to their right. in both those cases, the volume and body movement of the guys made no one else sit in those seats for 4 train stops.

why did they do that? i know there is good reason to be angry with them. i also am SO curious about the brokenness that patriarchy has created in them that makes them unable to be near each other. it’s almost as if they’re afraid of being close… maybe even terrified of touching.


the distance also makes them essentially yell at each other in order to be heard.

why? what impact does that have on their conversation? are they running from speaking softly to one another?

ok, the second part of the conversation is an inquiry i’ve been holding with myself for many years.

when i sit at a table at a coffee shop or in a conference room, i take up a TON of space. i’m not sure if it’s more space than is mine, but i’m always asking myself the question: am i taking up more space than people (especially women and enbys) around me? why?

often it’s because i just have a lot of stuff i need in order to be productive: laptop stand, bluetooth keyboard and mouse, wired headphones to laptop, coffee, bullet journal, charger for laptop, charger for cell phone, usually a plate of food… sometimes it’s fine, but sometimes it’s not. how do i know which is which? why do i tend to spread my stuff out over a space? how does that play into the socialization of my gender (knowing that women are socialized to take up less space)?


ps - as i quick edit this post, i wonder if the title should be ‘manspreading manspreading’ lol

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