book review: the drama of the gifted child by alice miller

preface: i first heard about this book from the gabor maté episode of the tim ferriss show.

The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller

The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller

What are the main ideas?

If I implemented one idea from this book right now, which one would it be?

do the work to remove the veil of the rosyness of my childhood. stay on notice whenever i hear myself say or think “my childhood was great/good/excellent.” there were good parts, of course. but the desire to coverup the bad parts is likely protecting things i don’t want to look at. those specific things shape the way i see the world and live. it’s important to dig them up, however i can.

How would I describe the book to a friend?

quite possibly the most devastating 120 pages i have ever read. this book starts by ripping off the bandaid of illusions that cover up our childhood traumas and then pokes and prods relentlessly to show us the depth of our wounds. it provides little in the way of solutions other than general directions and that feels totally right. this is not a guide on how to deal with your childhood trauma; it is a clarion call to action: pay attention to what happen in your early days. it does give broad directions on how to do that tending work: therapy. but it is not a book about solutions and i sort of love that. this book kept it simple and direct. make sure you are sitting down (emotionally) when you read one. have a journal nearby and maybe a therapist in the wings. if nothing hard comes up for you reading this book, you are probably already enlightened and in that case, send help to the rest of us, haha.

reminder: book review structure

words / writing / post-processing
585w / 20min / 9min