silent mornings for lawrence's 35th birthday party weekend

16 Apr 1989

tl:dr;

don’t talk to me on saturday before 11a or on sunday before 9a. i encourage you not to talk to each other during those times, too. major exceptions: unless you have kids or are a kid. or are cooking breakfast for everyone. or need to handle something logistical. then you can do whatever you need to!

the longer story

when i had my 30th birthday party, i was just a couple of years out from my better selves fellowship at knoll farm. that was my first engagement there and i loved it. since then, several of you have been there and i hope those of you that haven’t been there get to go someday. anyway, one of the practices during the fellowship week is no talking to each other until lunch is served at noon.

some people hate that practice. but me? i loved it. i loved having the whole morning to just be in my own thoughts and feels before having to deeply interact with anyone else. i loved, as they framed it out, “getting to learn who i am before i have to interact with anyone else.” of course, since then i have been on several silent meditation retreats and so i also love straight up not having to interact with people for days on end. but that’s not what most of life is about and it’s certainly not what my birthday weekend is about!

that said, being in a house(s) full of my closest people i imagine will be full of chatting, joy, connecting, dancing, playing, and connecting of all sorts. and the introvert part of me freaks the fuck out at the prospect of talking and being with people (even you my closest beloveds) from friday night until sunday afternoon.

so this quiet morning practice gives me space to scratch my introvert itch so that i can have my social battery charged up for being with you all fully. i feel way more easeful about taking time to meditate, journal, pull cards, go for a quiet nature walk (where i listen to non-human beings speak), sleep in, etc. when i know i won’t really be meaningfully interacting with anyone in the morning time.

ok so what about if this really doesn’t resonate with you? here’s what the haters (which includes camilo and james) say:

• it’s rude
• it’s not part of my culture (aka it’s too white for me)

i welcome disagreement! if you don’t want to engage in this practice with me, no problem! i trust you to be the liberated being that you are. as for me, i may wave or even give you a hug and my words and thoughts will be just for me until 11a.

as i mentioned, the exceptions without question are:

• if you have kids
• if you are a kid
• if you are cooking breakfast for everyone
• if you need to handle something logistical

if any of those applies to you, then you can do whatever you need to (this doesn’t mean you can’t observe the practice if you are one of those categories; it just means you have a free, no-guilt pass, for not observing it)! if those don’t apply to you, please check with someone before you interact with them in the morning in case they have opted into observing the practice.

finally, if you’re feeling on the fence about this, i would encourage you to try it! worst case scenario is you realize you don’t like it. and then you’ve learned something about yourself in a relatively short amount of time and that’s cool! (at least to me).

if you have questions, feel free to text me or chat with me about it.

love you. thanks for coming to my party!!!

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