alternative futures: strength from ancestors

04 Jul 2017

i sat down and tried to put pen to paper. i couldn’t. for some reason, the ideas just wouldn’t flow.

“it’s just a dissertation,” i told myself. “i can do this.”

i knew what i should do. i needed to gather energy. but from where…

i had mostly tapped my parent’s generation during my undergraduate years. and i tapped the strength of my grandparents during my first round of graduate school. the strength of all their souls supported me when times got tough.

but now, it seemed, i was ready, i needed to take another step backward.

i put my feet on the ground and settled into my chair. i sat up straight and with my back up against the chair, i closed my eyes.

my eyebrows tightened as i focused in. the darkness behind my eyelids gave way to the flowing lights that marked my journey backwards. the circuluar pathway through the history of my memory was always more beautiful than i expected.

i slipped past the glowing faces of my parents and then grandparents into unknown territory. the colors here were more faded than the first two generations back, but much more varied.

i slowed my spirit speed as i came upon my first great grandmother. i had only seen her in pictures but her eyes were even more radiant than i remembered. i moved closer to her nose and felt the warmth of her will start to transfer to my soul.

“child, you are wise beyond your wildest beliefs. do not doubt yourself.”

i thanked her for her words and opened my eyes. i put my pen to the page and started writing.

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note: the extractive nature of this is wrong but i couldn’t think outside of that frame this morning. should rethink that in the future.

this is post #4 of the evolutionary leadership 250 words a day challenge.

inspiration:

• quote from marilyn nelson in an episode of on being:

  I just kept thinking of my great great grandmothers. if they could live through what they lived through, I could survive this tenure decision…

words: 276