parts of my friend zone thinking that didn't make it into my medium post

08 Dec 2017

there are a few things i didn’t cover in my friend zone post on medium that are actually really important to me. the piece somehow got up to an 8min read and i was trying to keep it under five so i just cut my losses and wrapped it without all the things in it. that’s probably somewhat obvious by all the post scripts lol.

but these two points really matter to me about my zone 1 folks:

first, i’m thinking strategically about the identities of the people in my zones 1 & 2. as someone committed to liberation for all peoples (and therefore centering black liberation as means to that end), it matters that i have close relationships with folks on all different sides of liberation work. this means that (unlikely in my childhood years) i need to have a friend group that is non-homogenous.

i have a theory that more meaningful human connection is part of (if not all of) what’s necessary for us to move forward as a species. and i think that having close friends who are working on different elements of liberation work is critical. i think knowing, trusting, and feeling in accountability with people doing different parts of this work will allow me to (a) understand how to show up for the work they’re leading in ways that are genuinely helpful and (b) make it harder to burnout because these close friends of mine will understand my boundaries and our relationship will allow us to understand how to care for each other in non-harmful ways.

i realize that’s not totally clear, but it’s as clear as i can get it at 640a, ha.

second, by paying attention to the things these diverse zone 1 and 2 friends, i’ll be able to meaningfully expand my imagination about what liberation work looks like. i think, in the end, it’ll allow for a lot of opportunity to hold expansive, collaborative dreams and not get stuck in the ruts that occur when friend/thought groups are too small.

phew.

words / writing / post-processing
338w / 12min / 8min