scheduling is hard work: how to not make it harder

04 Feb 2023

scheduling is hard work.

twice during january, i was in live conversations where a group of 5+ people where trying to schedule something. at one point during both conversations almost everyone in them was big e Exasperated.

the first time it made me realize something and the second time confirmed it: i think many of us have unstated and unrealistic assumptions about our time. in both conversations, the groups were trying to schedule recurring meetings for 3+ months. unsurprisingly (to me at least), it was difficult. what was surprising to me was how frustrated everyone got at the difficulty. the first time it happened i facilitating and took some moments to get up on my soapbox:

we all live very full lives. the work of scheduling regular time with each other is hard. for most of us, our time is broken up into many blocks of time a day. and if each of us is making free decisions about how to use that time, the work of finding the places where *all of us have open space has just got to be hard work. also, we undervalue administrative/logistical work as a society so many of us have relatively low tolerance for it. we just expect it to all come together after one attempt and that’s just not reality. however, when epic people (like the ones in this room) put in the effort to align their time so that they can be together on a regular basis, we’re creating the possibility for bigger things to happen with all of our powers combined. it’s hard work and frustrating at times, but it’s worth it!*

since i that lil soliloquy, i have seen the frustration arise in group after group, by text, by email, during in-person meetings, and online ones. now that i can see it, i can’t unsee it.

and i get it. it is annoying for scheduling to be so hard. but i think the world where scheduling isn’t difficult is one that’s pretty different than the one we live in.

village culture/life where things just flow as they flow sounds nice.

or even if we didn’t live village life, it would be dreamy to have lives where our time isn’t shredded into a million tiny blocks. but it is because (a) we live in clock time (how much do you know/think about life before clocks?) and (b) we have to do all the things we need and have to do to keep afloat. maybe if we had better collective systems/infrastructure, things would be different. maybe universal healthcare, universal basic income, robust community care systems, and decommodified housing (etc etc) could get us to a way of being where we don’t have to work to afford to live and then try to fit our family/community/childcare/social lives in between.

but til then… scheduling will be hard work. idk. is what it is. i find that if i can acknowledge it and let it be, things are more easeful than when i rail against it. scheduling can be painful… but as the oft said line goes:

pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. — anonymous

ps - also, after i wrote this i realized i have a semi-frequent experience of someone saying “i’m totally flexible! just pick a time and i’m sure it’ll work.” and then i pick a time and the time doesn’t work. i think many people really want to have a flexible and free life but that is not actually true and there is a big resistance to that acknowledgement. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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