bring your analysis and be with the particular
20 Jun 2023this feels like an unthinkable thought (a la amb). i may get cancelled for this. if so, i’ll see you out in that field rumi used to talk about…
over the last few months, i’ve heard this idea from a few different people (rinku sen, alia lahlou) and it feels worth noting the pattern. it’s also something i’ve had to reinforce with some of my own clients.
over the past few years/decade, our shared systemic analysis has stepped way up. people are much more aware of power dynamics, systemic oppression, interpersonal trauma patterns, and more. that’s great!
what’s not great is that, in some areas, identity has become our lens for everything. we look at all white men (like each and every white man) and think “what a fucking white cis-male straight christo-supremacist rich asshole.” we look at all black womxn and say “what a glorious beautiful powerful leaderful insightful kickass human.”
and, sure, there are absolutely patterns and pattern making is what our brains do to help us make it through life. making patterns saves us time and energy and allows us to not have to look at every single situation/moment as if it’s totally brand new and needing to be figured out. it’s part of our brilliance as a species.
but the assumptions we’re making about individuals because of the systemic patterns is actually not working for us! when we look at all white people and think they are shitty, it makes life hard and means there are allies/collaborators all over the place that we’re ignoring. when we look at all bipoc and think we should be advancing them into leadership, it undermines both the leadership of our orgs and can push individuals way past their capacity too early and without proper supports.
my friend noah schoen says “assholes are evenly distributed across the population.” some conditioning makes you more likely to be an asshole, for sure, but there are assholes everywhere. it’s cheeky but feels real. like… being oppressed doesn’t give you a sharp political analysis or stellar leadership capacity. being traumatized doesn’t immediately make you a movement elder. we have absolutely systemically been ignoring people who have been harmed/oppressed/traumatized.
so this new way i’m seeing feels important to note. the way i like it is “bring your analysis, but be with the particular” or “bring your analysis, but be with who is in front of you.” like yes… track all the systemic patterns and forces. but also make sure you’re noticing the qualities of the person in front of you. are they trustworthy? are the traumatized? are they ready to move from being a powerful contributing team member to a team leader? do they need to step back to do some healing? those questions (and many more) are relevant to all people. let us continue to develop our collective systemic analysis AND remember to see what and who is actually here with us.
words / writing / post-processing
451w / 12min / ?min