unleashing alternative futures: the time auditors
17 Jan 2024“is that cedar?”
the receptionist looked up at me kindly and nodded. “good nose,” they said.
“thank you for being early to get grounded. you’re welcome to take any chair that looks comfy to you. your auditor is finishing up with a client and will be with you in 10-20 minutes. we’ll do your paperwork afterwards. let me know if you have any questions.” they returned their gaze back to their desk.
incense wafted under the auditor closed door as i eased into a plush furry loveseat and leaned back. i took a few deep breaths and wondered what my first audit would be like. i’d heard for years i should be doing it but never had the courage. today was the day!
“unnnhgggg nooooooooooooo!”
i had scarcely taken 3 breaths when i heard the most gut-wrenching wail. it sounded like someone had just had a massive contraction or been given awful news about a loved one.
over the next few minutes, the tears rose and fell like an ebbing tide. eventually they became inaudible, to me at least. what the fuck was going on in there?
the door cracked open 5 minutes before the hour. it stayed cracked while the two people inside exchanged a few final words and then fully opened and client walked towards the front desk. makeup smeared and locs askew, she moved slowly and held herself tenderly. the auditor spoke from the door.
“mayushka, you did great today. it’s not easy when you see your end ahead of you. but you are making good progress and i know you’ll get a handle on your big picture soon. see you next time.”
the auditor shook out his green and white keffiyeh and leaned down to speak something softly to the receptionist. i couldn’t totally pick up the words but what i heard was “time advisor… urgent… ticking…” i swallowed hard.
the auditor looked up to me and smiled.
“asa, i see today’s your first time audit.”
i nodded slowly, uncertain if i was ready to go through with this.
he said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “i see your shakiness. your first time audit won’t be as intense as what you just heard. i have been in this work for over 30 years and feel confident that i can hold you through whatever emotional turmoil will flow as we look at how you’ve spent your life and how you could spend the rest of it.”
“i’m not ready, i’m not ready, i’m not ready,” is all i could think.
“i need a few minutes to reset the office. i’ll be with you 5 after the hour. do you prefer cedar or piñon for sacred smoke during our session?”
note: this story is based on nadav david’s time audits. the idea of time advisors came from david schwartz. this story came to me during a moment of grief while me and my partner were mapping out our time for q1 of 2024.
words / writing / post-processing
445w / 18min / 3min