some thoughts on texting during LA's current fire apocalypse

11 Jan 2025

dear nadav and mikaela,

here we are again in crisis/apocalypse realm. this time, it’s the unprecedented fires in your new home in tongva land.

i wanted to write this because i realized i had basically the same emotional journey texting my people in LA as i went through during the early covid days.

i felt grateful to realize the similarity pretty quickly. it helped me lean into the lessons i remembered faster than last time. and it still felt useful to write them out again. partly because i think we (sadly) are going to need to get practiced at communicating in/through crisis. so here’s the arc/process i went through:

1. i heard a news piece on the first day the fires broke out. i sent a couple texts to LA folks.
2. the next day, the fires got worse.
3. the next day, they fires got WAY worse.
4. i felt my desire to do so much outreach to LA people. “how are you doing?” i noticed the energy before i acted on it.
5. i sat with the feelings and sensations. what were they about? turns out, they were me (1) feeling scared (2) feeling uncertain (3) being curious about how people were doing and (4) wondering if i could be helpful in any way.
6. i realized i was probably one of tens of people (if not more) who would be reaching out to the people i know.
7. i sat with the possibility that me not reaching out might feel like or be perceived as silence, as not caring.
8. i continued to sit with my own feelings of discomfort. i meditated and felt my body feel the physical sensations of discomfort related to the land on fire, the people i knew in the area, and the lack of info i had about how they all were.
9. after sitting with all my own feelings (or at least the ones that were present at the moment) i tried to discern, person by person, who i was texting to resolve my own feelings versus who i was texting because i knew/believed i could be of unique/genuine service (i.e. someone who i had a close enough relationship with to be meaningfully useful). i particularly was trying to pay attention to people who i wanted to text just because i was scared/worried. and i slowed down or didn’t text them because i know that, in actual crisis them texting me back was either going to be a burden or just not gonna happen until crisis-mode was done.
10. some of them i never texted. some of them i have texted now that the fires have slowed.

after i wrote this, nadav, you sent me the latest issue of kelly hayes’ newsletter: Organizing My Thoughts: Fire-Related Mutual Aid Efforts to Support and Some Must-Reads.

i really resonated with these lines (which were about mis/disinformation being spread online):

Catastrophic events provoke strong emotions, even when we and our loved ones are not in harm’s way. We feel empathy for those suffering, including disabled people, unhoused people, and others who might be left behind in a crisis. We mourn the loss of ecosystems and wildlife, and we may worry about people’s pets…

If you were fleeing your home or faced with that prospect, as toxic smoke billowed across your city, what kind of messages would you want strangers to circulate online?

my version of this question for this moment: If you were fleeing your home or faced with that prospect, as toxic smoke billowed across your city, what kind of calls/texts would you want to receive?

to be honest, i still don’t totally know the answer to that question. but my TL:DR; sit with my feelings before jumping into action. especially if my action has the possibility to be more overwhelming than helpful.

ps - i’ve heard from a couple friends that the immediate communications have been overwhelming.

pps - i would guess that long term response is gonna be really useful; people to check in (and send resources once it’s clear what’s needed in the aftermath) in a week or two or four or eight. are we ready for that? am i ready for that? how can i ready myself for that after the news cycle has moved on?

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words / writing / post-processing
748w / ~30min / min