"trust is a brittle thing that needs to be built, over time, mostly by actions"

a couple of weeks ago, spencer and i were talking and someone he works with (kelly, i believe, but i need to get her full name so i can cite her appropriately) said, among many things, this line that i thought was basically gold:

trust is a brittle thing that needs to be built, over time, mostly by actions. - kelly clancy

i was dumbfounded when i heard those words. i have shared them with at least three other people since he shared them with me.

the truth in that statement, to me, is profound.

because i’ve been writing more poetry lately (shoutout to bethany cherry, one of folks in my better selves cohort who encouraged me to write more of it), my brain is shifting into analogy mode. it’s making me think of what physical materials take time to make, can be extremely strong, but are also brittle.

first thing that came up was glass and the process of blowing glass (sean recently took a glass-blowing class). it’s just sand at first. but with a lot of heat and skill and repeated working with the right tools, it can become almost any shape.

raw material
becomes beautiful
and brittle
when compressed
incredible strength
when dropped
a million pieces

#badpoetry maybe? whatevs.

but anyways, that operative part of kelly’s line, for me, is that trust is built mostly by actions (echos of m. scott peck’s definition of love here). words are necessary, for sure, but what builds (and erodes) trust is action, not words. words can be empty. actions cannot be disputed. well, maybe that’s not totally true, but at least they’re less easily disputed, heh.

thanks, kelly… whoever you are.

words / writing / post-processing
272w / 9min / 10min