uncle-ateral decisions

so i just got off the phone with one of my closer thought partners, abraham and we had a hilarious and juicy conversation. here’s a quick run down:

abraham: i have been really struggling as a single parent with all of the decisions i have to make on behalf of my two kids. in general, it’s been a part of my parenting approach to bring my kids in to as many decisions as possible. and there are so many decisions where i can’t. and i’ve been really stuck in the spot of how to involve them as much as possible knowing that ican’t actually involve them in everything. it’s actually exhausting, depressing even, to be holding so many decsions on their behalf without them seeing the labor i’m doing. plus, i really feel it from them when i don’t involve them in a decision because they let me know in no uncertain terms.

recently, i had a breakthrough with this. i started naming decisions that i make unilaterally ‘dad decisions’ and giving my kids the opportunity to reflect with me in the future about how dad decisions go.

some examples:

i’ve found a huge amount of relief in this framing for two primary reasons:

i think there’s a potentially interesting extension of this thinking/experiment: i think it could extend into the realm of man decisions or really, uncle decisions!

thoughts created in dialogue between lawrence & abraham:

abraham: and you know, whether or not this is helpful to anyone else isn’t the most important thing to me right now. for now, the FRAMING of dad decisions has created so much relief in my parenting that i just feel grateful to have stumbled onto it. i love sharing it with you, lawrence, and i am curious and excited to see if/how it could be influential for the league… but we’ll see!

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